I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm too high and old for this...
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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