We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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