You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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