Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
