she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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