Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
