i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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