just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
