He managed to light the Jello on fire...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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