My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize