No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
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