discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
