he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
