There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
