I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
