I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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