peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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