ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
