It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
