I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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