Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
