Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
