Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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