So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
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Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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