did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
