Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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