youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
pop tarts are not kleenex
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
