i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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