no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
