i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
