Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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