she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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