No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
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