I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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