Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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