Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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