Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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