I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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