this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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