i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
