am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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