I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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