so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Randomize
