ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
