I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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