We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
