Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
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Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
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Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize