I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I feel great
I just peed on a car
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
