Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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