I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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