South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
