im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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