What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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