i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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