Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
