I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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