This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Randomize