loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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