Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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