i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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