spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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