the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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