I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
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Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
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Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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