a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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