At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
