Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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