butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize