I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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