If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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